Poser

You say that since I'm a girl that I can't rap
You gotta' another thing comin' if you're agreein' with that
You turn around I got 3 verses wrapped around your neck and a shot in your back
I stand out from the crowd
I never go soft I always go hard
Yeah call me the bitch I hollow outcha' heart
They call it murder and assult but I call it art
I'm still goin' at it , just gettin' my feet wet
And your bitch ass is over here breakin' a sweat
Hell no , none of what I've done I regret
Of course I'm sendinn an S.O.S
Done dealin' with stress
This shits a mess
You tryna' figure me out bitch go ahead and guess
Why I'm tearin' shit up
Why I don't give a fuck
Why I hate you and wish you luck
Why I'm shootin' bullets yellin' duck
You are flirtin' with the flames
And I dance around this games
Killin' mics in the morning and then takin' names
Boy you're so lame
You say winning isn't everything , because you always lose
Welcome to the ego boost , so confused
Always abused!
Now I got this shit in my head and it I dread
So I'm gettin it out like a needle in a haystack its hard to find
My vision is 20/20 but I feel so blind
If I could have 3 wishes I'd go back and rewind
The true me I'd find
Maybe beat the shit out of the bitch so I'd know who I am
Maybe I'd change up my friends
Maybe I'd say fuck it all burn the apartment and put it to an end
So many memories don't know which to burn
Fuck it , I'll teach my brain to forget and relearn
You tryn'a sound ghetto but you went to a private school
You were on the football team , you were so cool
You sayin' you ran the streets during the night
Your bitch ass has never been in a fight
So go ahead and get your flash light
I know what's gonna' happen , vision so bright
I'm ready to go so c'mon, I'm so tight
I'm  not playin' games and I never was
I out do you everyday, all day, tomorrow, and yesterday , always
I dont' know how to behave
It's like I had no parents and was a stray
But I grew up and learned a lot and your bitch ass can barely talk
So go ahead with your posin' self and walk
I'm tired of your posin ass tryna' bring me down
The edges of my mouth will never frown
So go on and leave
Stab you in the back , you won't breath
But I ain't like you , I'm me

Fire

Fire all around
burnin' / sizzlin'/ won't bring me down
Fire / Fire
I dance in the flames / Yah' look at me like I'm insane
As I'm dancin' around the Fire / Fire / Fire

Negative comments coming from all around
Negative people wanna' bring me down
But I will never hit the ground
I'll stand proud never turn a smile to a frown
I'll always stand tall and dance around the flames
Going hard I'll never be the same
Look at my eyes can you tell that I'm insane?
Claimin' you in but I don't play any games
I start to sweat but I don't feel any pain
I'll never be brought down
I'll always run this life
No fear of somebody pullin' a knife
I walk with my head held high , everyday , with every stride
No the power invested in me I'll survive
As I dance around the flames all through the night
I'm a crazy bitch , you know that's right
So I sit here , mocking you
Look at you , you and look at you to!
Thinkin' that you can come at me like this
You don't me but I have

Fire all around
burnin' / sizzlin'/ won't bring me down
Fire / Fire
I dance in the flames / Yah' look at me like I'm insane
As I'm dancin' around the Fire / Fire / Fire

I see you sweat as you try to get near me
I'm laughin' don't you see?
There isn't anyway that you can catch me
I'm smokin' , got steam comin' from me
Go ahead, burn your hands and touch me
This is how it is and this is how it'll be
Anybody gonna' rock it like this because you can't rock it like me
I am who I am and who I say I will be
I dance around the flames shoutin' and laughin'
You out on the street talkin' bout' throwin' knives and cappin'
That ain't me an it never will be
I'm content with myself no need to run a street
I'm happy , I'm mad , pissed and angry
You come around here sayin' your run this city
You don't stand for shit so I'll knock you down
Have your blood and shit spred all around
Look at you , you ain't laughin' now
Seein' your blood runnin' down
You realize I ain't playin' now
So this is when you decide to bring it down
Pull a gun out cha' pocket shootin' all around
Now you put a bad name on my town
It doesn't matter to me because I dance around the flames
I look at you while you're shootin' at me
You catch a glimse of my eyes and see the insanity
You get up , don't want to mess with me
It doesn't matter because I made up my mind
.357 comin' down your line
Hit cha' in the spin
Another shot to the head
Scrapped ya' by the ear , you ain't dead
Lay on the sidewalk and wait for the police and the E-M-T
Put you in the back while I'm in the bushes going he-he-he
I told you that I dance around the flames because..

Fire all around
burnin' / sizzlin'/ won't bring me down
Fire / Fire
I dance in the flames / Yah' look at me like I'm insane
As I'm dancin' around the Fire / Fire / Fire

8-6-5 to 8-5-9

Hey went from 8-6-5  to tha' 8-5-9 
Oak Ridge , Cincinnati this is my time
The valley , Scarborough on my mind
They call it the trap I stay on my grind

Ey-Ey - We go hard in the valley nothin' to prove
Hole lot ta' gain and nothin' to lose
Get in a shoot out , ya' family gets bad news
Ya' standin' on the street with blood on your shoes
Now whatcha' gotta' say?
I got blood on my hands
Shot cha' best friend , still laughin'
I t-t-t-told cha' how this would go
But you thought you knew all ya' had to know
Now you're runnin' from me goin' down the street
Cuttin' down every alley
I'm shootin' at you and you're d-d-duckin'
I'm followin' you like we're playin' tag
I'm puttin' three shots in your back
I'm laughin' while you're bleeding out
Call 9-1-1 they won't hear a sound because...

Hey went from 8-6-5  to tha' 8-5-9 
Oak Ridge , Cincinnati this is my time
The valley , Scarborough on my mind
They call it the trap I stay on my grind

Police show up and they find the shells
You lookin' at me , I'm laughin' , ain't goin' to jail
This is my game , on my time
You stay on the gurney , I'm in your mind
Smile in the bushes while they wheel ya' away
Takin' pictures of your injuries to remember this d-d-day
I'll come visit cha' in the E.R.
Get pissy wit me next bullet will go through your heart
It's not a crime its more like art
If ya' don't understand it , where should I start?
I'm not scared of you , not at all
Grew up havin' my back against the wall
My ego is big it use to be small
Went from Oak Ridge to Cincinnati
8-6-5 to the 8-5-9
I got ontop , yeah, I got mine
Didn't stay put , didn't stay low
I got up startin' writin and perfectin' my flow yeah uh..

Hey went from 8-6-5  to tha' 8-5-9 
Oak Ridge , Cincinnati this is my time
The valley , Scarborough on my mind
They call it the trap I stay on my grind

So it's just another day gettin' fingerprinted
Pictures bein' took
In jail ready for a hook
Does it look like I'm scared take another look
Another statistic to go in a book
Is that what it means to die?
You get put down as a stastic and expect to rest in peace in the sky
Look at that bullshit , runnin' through lives
This is what happens everyday and night
People don't even know the  difference between wrong and right
Now you run through the valley , findin' bodies in the alley
You keep runnin' ya' don't even stop
No time when you're runnin' from a cop
Guns whistlin' by you
But you remain calm , a natural born killer
Turn around , droppin' the cop to the ground
Shells all ar-r-round
But ...

Hey went from 8-6-5  to tha' 8-5-9 
Oak Ridge , Cincinnati this is my time
The valley , Scarborough on my mind
They call it the trap I stay on my grind

uncle raleigh

I'm in disbelieve
yeah I cry as I grieve
I don't know what happened but I'm scared
He was always the guy that was there
He was always the one who loved me and cared
The way things happened just weren't fair
 I just can't believe that this is real
 Its just so surreal
 I just want that hug I can feel
 He was my uncle and my god father, my friend
 This isn't how it was suppose to end
 I can't believe that he went this way
 It's not okay no matter what anybody has to say
 I wish that I could speak to him one last time
 I just want to get things off my mind
 I want him to know that I love him
 I say him as a dad
 He was the best thing that I've ever had
 I know that may sound bad
 Yeah, I'm sad
 I just want him back
 I'd do anything for that, and that's a fact
 God please give him back to me
 He's my uncle and he can't go today
 I wear a cross everyday
 And this is what I get?
 I'm a bomb, tick-tick
 My uncle disappeared from this world
 No longer here to protect me and my sis
 His son, his two daughters all his kids
 We all want him back, place him here
 Don't make me cry all these tears
 Him dying was my worst fear
 Now that my fear has come, I'm done
 I'm drained, going insane
 Guess life is a game
 I want my uncle back in my life
 I want him to know that I love him so much
 I wish I could have another day with him
 So these tears wouldn't touch my skin
 I wish he would never die
 Be my angel hold me at night
 Come to me, please, I miss you
 I want you now and I need you here
 I can't believe that you're gone
 I'm going to make you proud
 I'll never forget you, everything I do is for you
 R.I.P. uncle raleigh you were like my dad
 Best uncle I ever had
 Now I'm sad
 And you're gone to heaven
 on aprill 10, 2011
 I love you

hard

yeah, okay, check it, check it now
i have all this built up and it has to come out
it has to explode i cannot control anymore
i have to sit here and think bout' what i cannot adore
i feel like imma whore
you don't understand what i go through because i won't tell
i know that's my fault boarderline to livin' in hell
i need to bust loose and come outta' my shell , oh well
i want to tell you a secret of something that happened
something that went on i reak habit
this guy wants to just come in my life
and hit on me even though he has a wife
it just aint right has to end tonight
i gotta' say that in this tunnel there's no light
over this there can't be a fight
i have to let it all out and just put it in the air
i know that sometimes people just don't care
but this is what's going on and steppin' on my brain
its  like i have no conscious i'm going insane
i want to get out put me on a  plane
i feel like i live in vain
my life is like a T-shirt its so plain
so i sit there and think about everything i've done
i think back and i realise now it was no fun
i want to rewind and go back in time
i probably would have told just to get it outta my mind
he's the only one i can go to
the only one that i can tell
when he isn't there its like i'm living in hell
its not just oh well
its something i have to deal with and i have to do it now
i have to get it out, but how?
sometimes i go days and weeks without seeing him
we don't text or call its like we're hittin a wall
i use to be walkin so tall
now i'm not i'm so small
i want to be the one who gets back to where we use to be
i want that to be the only thing i see
i love him and i know he loves me
i want this to happen please oh please

my chance

you say you'll always be there
you'll always be the one to care
but everytime I need you yah turn into air
it makes me mad because it just isn't fair
it hurts me so bad because I don't understand
its like I go around with a smile on my face
even though i'm upset like i have no place
i keep pushing going at a steady pace
you can't understand why i say the things i do
you can't understand me because i ain't you
yeah its true
i regret some of the things that i do
maybe things are just mistakes and i can  learn
maybe i should sit back and think before i make a wrong turn
but sometimes i don't know when i'll get it i gotta be stearn
so i sit in my room after everyday and think about what i did
i think about what i coulda' done and why i didn't have more fun
i think about everything that strains my mind
and when i get done i can't do anything i have no time
my light is diming no time for me to shine
yeah these are all the reasons i sit here sayin' i'm fine
i'm wild i pick my fruit from the vine
i get my sap from the pine
but after everything that i've been through i still don't get it
i sit there and take it and say that imma' win it
but after all that i do and all that i say
people still blow me off day after day
so i sit here thinkin' bout you and all the things we use to do
everything just rolls and flows and comes and goes
everytime and everyday i know that i need to break away
so this is my chance

uncle

Let me be straight I put up a barrier I lock my gate

I guess that's how I am it's just fate

I can't change a habit it's to late

I know that I carry my pain in my heart

Lets take a look where should I start

I have all of this pain built up inside

Nobody will listen to be they think I have a good life

For the most part I guess I do

Except for those people who want to do what they do

I guess I talk to my uncle about a lot of my problems

Who else can I talk to? Nobody you're right

I know lately me and him aren't that tight

But if I needed him he'd be here tonight

I told him some heavy things and I guess its weighin on his mind

Sometimes I wish I could just keep everybody away

I mislead everybody with every word I say

I don't do it on  purpose well sometimes I do

I do it intentionally just to confuse you

I told him some thing that is pretty serious

He got upset, he's probably furious

I don't hear from him a lot

I hope he didn't do something bad

If I hurt him I never ment to make him sad

I guess the secret I should have kept

I can take it alone I would've wept

But I could have gotten through it

I think I can, Imma do it

But I just know that every secret comes out

I hope it comes out pretty soon, what about now?

I need some help explaining it and getting it out

Its not as easy as it looks the challenge is more difficult now

There's only one person that I can really go to

Sometimes I don't know why I even do

I tell him something than I don't hear from him for a long time

I don't know what he's doing, processing it in his mind?

I don't know but he knows that I need 'em

He keeps on and on and I lost touch in 'em

I lost trust in 'em

So here I sit his number isn't in my phone

Maybe my difficult times I should face alone

It's not like I can talk to anybody at home

I have a sister who likes to run her damn mouth

My dad will go to jail and my mom doesn't need to know

So where does that leave me at now?

Nowhere is exactly right

Go ahead ask me how many days of the week I cry at night

I don't know I've lost count

The numbers keep climbing starting to mount

I need him here and I kinda need 'em now

But right now he's nowhere to be found, wow

My uncle the one who was always suppose to be there

The one who said he loved me and cared

Where are you?

I guess something is more important to you

But you made a promise to me and broke it in half

No wonder there's no hope of our relationship gettin' back on track

You ruined it and stuck it in the ground

Tried to work it out and you're laugin in the crowd

Takin' snap shots in your mind

You can't even tell when I'm not fine

What would you do if I decided to cry

Would you get pissed and me and call me names

Because right now I think I'm going insane

I'm mentally deranged

Every word that I say you can feel the pain

And you know exactly why

I explained it to you the other night

So how come I haven't heard from you

I guess its because it has nothing to do with you

Sure you feel bad but it isn't you so you're glad

So keep living in your perfect ass world

I can't be apart of your life anymore

I am leaving I'm slamming the door

I want you to know that I left

You and me need to talk leme get this off my chest

I need to sleep and eat just get some rest

I try to express myself I do my best

I need you to be there for me give me support

But you aren't there you keep coming up short

Why is that it happens all the time

Maybe its me and its backwards in my mind

No, no it isn't me I know what I see is reality

I need you you're my uncle step up to the plate

Grab my hand , hug me its never to late

Because I need you now

show me some love

These people keep getting me mad
I try and take the easy way but I can't help but to be bad
I know , I know it's so sad
Calm down sit back down wipe that smile off take a bow
Keep running your mouth stop clapping for me
I'm tired of hearing what youo are and who you can be
I don't care I'm me can't cha' see?
I just don't get you keep talking
I'm done just start walking
I'm tired of being mocked
I just can't take the pain anymore
I'm leaving I won't go peacefully I'm slamming the door
I don't give a damn anymore
Everybody who looked down on me I'm leaving behind
I said I'd come back but not this time
So have you ever thought about me you in your mind
I think I'm going crazy I have to be insane
There's no way anybody could be in this kind of pain
But I am and I don't know what to say
No help is coming my way
And that's okay
I didn't expect anybody to be there for me
Even though it'd be nice sometimes I just need to be-
Alone but there's nobody that I can talk to
I'm having blank conversations with my phone
I hate when I come home
There's this and that and I have to deal with it all
It's crazy this is off the wall
Things just keep going around
Circulating rumors smacked down
I'm tired of defending myself
I shouldn't have to
What I do shouldn't matter to anybody else
Some how it does
You say why I say just because
Now that I have a future ahead you want to show some love
I'm tired of this shit you never gave enough
When you die you ain't goin' up
So forget that give yourself a hug
I told you I was done and that I'm giving up
But here you stand tryna' shake hands
Get out of my face I'ma grown wo-man
I gotta' get out of this place out of this spot
This can't fail me now
You say it will I betcha' not!
So c'mon open your arms reach out for me
Oh so now I'm not the person you want me to be
You push me away and say everything is okay
For the sake of my dad you just turn away
I don't understand shake my hand
Can we talk sometime and get this out
You don't want to
What is that about?
Show me some love

Never

There's something that I just gotta say
I sometimes get upset when I don't get my way
But I learn to hold it in
I learn to bottle it up
I'm use to people trying to be down
Every time I get a smile somebody wants to make me frown
But I'm tired of this shit I'm turning it around
I gotta get this plan down
I can no longer take the gate
I just have to get up off the ground I won't be ate
I can take the pain its never to late
I don't want to just sit here and wait on my ass
For this shit to pass
I won't wait for it to pass me over and jusst walk away
I will stand here and take the pain
I guess I really have nothing to gain
So why am I heare I guess I can just go
It doesn't need to be this tough though
Its a tough road
I just can't stand the thought of walking it alone
But this much I have to say
I need to get my thoughts out of my brain
I can't sit here and hold back and restrain
I never thought I'd be in the situation playing this game
I just want to have a little piece of fame
So you guys can see I'm somebody because people know my name
I don't get why some people just want to sit and cry
That makes it less emotional when they die
Because they didn't try
So they didn't fail to no provail
I have been so close and so far away
It gets harder each and everyday
My goals are never to far away
That's all I have to say
So I want to let you know what I say goes
It can be a long road
Whoever you travel with determines if its cold
I want to grow old
I have to get my opinion out some say I'm bold
Yeah I know I'm a bitch that's what I've been told
But I'm not like you I don't turn my hand it and fold

Why?

I was calm but now I'm bad you stupid black bitch you aren't bad
So shut up and just walk away because I'm not like you , I don't play
You running your fucking mouth is going to end today
So go ahead you think you can fight, swing away
I'm tired of you and your fucking friend
I didn't like you at the begin, and I don't like you now, its the end
We have a day left in this trimester and you want to start shit
You don't even know me but you can suck on my C~
You think you're so damn bad running your mouth?!
Get off of your moms t.t nobody will protect you now
you think people are scared of you because you have a loud mouth
Shut up!! And just go away , I told you once I don't play
You think that you will jump me , HA, I'll laugh in your face
So you said you were so bad, but you're two faced
I am so done with your stupid comments and side remarks
You think I don't know you talk about me , NARK!
Damn you aren't even pretty, you look like a dogs ass
I'm telling you right now this is a warning
When I'm determined to cause fear and panic I do it!
I'm not a coward who gets ready and says just screw it!
You don't know me and I don't really care to know you
But now I'm pissed and nobody wants to be in your shoes
Bottomline, you're screwed what cha' gonna do?
So why did you have to run your mouth?
Thought you were bad gettin' all loud
Now you're laying down, not making a sound
Answer this WHY? did you have to talk behind my back
You know you did, I know it, so it's a fact
WHY?

Real You

yeah - yeah - yeah
you all hear it all the time I'm ghetto
I'm gangsta chick you've lost your mind
shutup its time to unwind
Didn't you see the stop sign?
That means stop don't go
so I guess what I'm saying is shutup ho!
Don't you have something or somebody to blow?
What did you say? I'm sorry was that a no?
Wow I didn't see that coming
I'm mean you always have something to say
Its sex , sex, sex everyday
NO WAY!
Is to!
Those are your true colors, the real you
Its so funny 
I heard you like to be called baby not honey
I guess you just have to find out what you like
I guess you are tired of being called a whore
Some even call you a slut, ho and a dyke
Every guy you get with tells you to get out!
Drop some weight chick and take a hike
You try to lie on me but I'm going to strike
I will you'll see it'll be fun
It could be on a stormy night, fun, right?
You're just a boil, a blister a pimple to me
You are fake and you're a loser
You are a poser and this life you chose her
You are driving your life
You ruined it, used a gun not a knife
Its blasted away you derailed
You're life , you have failed
You broke bail
You're a ho, a slut and you smell!!!
I hope you go to prison or stay in jail
Or just go to hell
You are a perfect example for an epic fail

VeNdIcTiVe

I guess that I'm the kind of person who really likes revenge
I'm not the kind of person of will just makes ammends
Who will forget about the past and just be friends
I guess that I'm a little bit evil but I like to see people go down
I like to see when people who can't stand me see pictures of me around
On billboards all around their home town
It makes them mad I don't even have to make a sound
The picture speaks for itself it says look at me now
I guess they can come to my concert and watch me a take a bow
I'm all over the news and all you have to say is wow
I guess I'm the type of girl who will introduce you to my world
I have everything I want, diamonds and pearls
I like to watch my life from the outside
I'm so big that when I go out I have to dress up and hide
But this is what I chose so I don't complain
I sign autographs and take pictures because everybody knows my name
I get mad sometimes but I show restrain
I do it for the fans because they're the ones who gave me fame
I know I say that I'm vendictive and I know you think its lame
You ran your mouth in high school but now you're ashamed
Look at me now , you look at me like wow
Yeah man, I know that you hated me awhile go everybody knows
Don't try and change things between us now
You are who you are and I am who I am
I won't bend over backwards for you I've always taken a stan
And bending over for anybody is not in my life plan
So don't ever ask me to become your friend
We tried this once and it just didn't work out
So we're done now , I'm not here to be your friend and make ammends
I told you I'm vendictive I'm all about the revenge
If you can't handle what I'm saying just turn around and walk away
Because you know that I'm not playing
This is a nice town, and a nice house you can leave
You don't have the money to stay here now
You wasted your life away just to have a little bit of fun
But guess what? That fun is over its all done
I'm that, I'm this I'm everything you wanted to be am I the person you miss?
I guess I'm that girl, that chick, I'm vendictive some say that I'm a royal b....
But I don't really care some times things just don't work out they aren't fair
So you decide to go for a walk around fountain square
Guess what? My face is everywhere
Its even there, you see it flashing across the screen
You get arrested trying to throw cans at me
You can't stand me but I don't care
You want to know why? Because you aren't anything to me
You don't have enough money to even buy my cheapest CD
So go ahead get on with your life
I am busy with mine and I'm doing just fine
Being vendictive is on my resume its my job from 5-9
I'm just like that, that's just me
This is how I'll always be
Just vendictive, vendictive, yes I love revenge
Me and revenge are the best of friends

Warning

W  A  R  N  I  N  G 
  W  A  R  N  I  N  G 
W  A  R  N  I  N  G    

Hey hey I tried to tell you that there's a tornado coming through 
I'm like a volcano I'm going to erupt and take it out on you 
So tell me, when did you ever think that I was playing games? 
I don't do that, and just for that you should be ashamed 
Your family stays away because they are embarrassed you 
Alcoholic is their best friend, what do you expect 'em to do? 
They have you 
Counseling can't help, they've tried that to 
So now we've diagnosed the problem as you 
And now you're my problem to and this problem is going to end 
See unlike your family I'm not here to make ammends 
I'm not here to be friends 
I just want to say this is a warning for you 
I'm going to bust you loose 
Why? You deserve it and it's just what I do 
Don't hide from me, I'll come with a crew 
But I'll have you alone 
You're a coward you tried to call 9-1-1 
What now? I have your phone 
Your A_ _ I'm about to own 
I told you I was done playing and you thought it was a joke 
For you to walk away is your biggest hope 
Can't breathe , blood is stuck in your throat
Op, maybe you'll choke 
Sirens may come, you can't say this wasn't fun 
This was a warning so stay clear 
Maybe you should change your attitude and switch gears 
Maybe I'll see you in your nightmeares 
Or maybe you have nothing to fear 
Who knows right? Cry!! Cry!! shed a tear 

                

EMIN3M

EMIN3M I know that sometimes things are hard
Its like I keep running into walls
Every time I get down and start to fall
Your music helps me get back up to walking tall
I admire you for you
I have to say I love your music and I love you
Yes its true
I wish oh God do I wish for you to say I do
Maybe say I love you to
I just think you and T.I. are the best
I love your body, you have an incredible chest
"Lose Yourself","Not Afraid","Hailie's Song",""Beautiful","Love the Way You Lie"
Are so good , its like when I sing them i've been revived
And then I listen to "25 to Life"
It inspires me even though its about your ex-wife
Posters of you all over my wall
I'd put a hold through my door if they were to ever fall
What's in my stereo?
Your album "Curtain Call"
Number 4 stays on replay
I sing it and blare it everyday
How bout' you go on a tour and come my way
Or you could fly me from Cincinnati to L.A.
the bottom line is you inspire me
I know it must be hard being famous
Everybody knows what your name and what every alias is
I have to say that I'm a fan
I'm nothing compared to "Stan"
But I think you're a great man and a good friend
And I'll forever be a fan

RELAPSE

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I whip my pistol out / I hear people shout / I said I'm not playing anymore I guess you thought I was a joke / Not laughing anymore with my hand around your throat / Yeah you're scared you're about to choke / I said croke little froggy croke for me please /  I guess this is going to be a RELAPSE for me / you said that you were ghetto you better show me now / Your lights are going  out / I guess one day you'll soon found out what this rap really is / you kept pushing me to the edge of the mountain / I brought you with me drink from the dragon fountain / Flashblacks surround me now / +RECOVERY+ in my mind I have to get it out / I have to be careful so I won't get caught I can't stand to have this all in my hair / I may have a conversation /I can't hold back this is RELAPSE / This is my RELAPSE it's mine not yours/ I'm not playing around I talk run my mouth behind closed doors / I have +RECOVERY+ embedded in her mind / she remembers every move milimeters to seconds doesn't matter to me I take my time / I guess she knows now that I don't play around / I don't think she realizes I sent a warning out / Or she does and didn't care but I bet she does now because she's picking up pieces of her hair / Shouting as I run away that this isn't fair / I walk back to her house because these fists I want to share / Threaten to press charges ha I'm not scared / I have every hit named / That's not what we are talking about now the issue is RELAPSE / Its coming fast / The sleeping giant is awake and now RELAPSE is in your face

your hand

Hearts , *Diamonds* , Clubs and Spades    /   Hoping you have enough luck to go all the way    /   your life isn't a game, no second chances headed your way   /  you can make it or break it   /  Nothing can restrain it  /  If you get down don't take it   / Hearts are where the feelings lie  / Diamonds represent this money of mine  / Clubs a weapon to destroy you  / Spades something I just give you  /  You want to play cards,  great!   / You have a deck  / stop being apart of the living dead  / become something , stop giving up  /  I'm tired of the excuses  / Don't hand me that sh*t   / You have a hand  / play it out right  /  Don't take forever, you might not make it through the night  /  Do you tell your parents and siblings good night?  /  Do you say your prayers before you turn out your light  /  You got a crappy hand this is a serious game  / Embarrassed of your family so you want to leave and change your name  / so you're punking out and running away / folding your cards / even though you had aces and spades  /  ungrateful, ignorant child pick your shit back up  / go back home suck it up and shut the f*ck up  / this isn't uno get that out of your head  / you're in a playing field living with the dead  / you have some motivation when you get out of bed  / you have a hand, don't rush it, to get it out of the way/ be grateful that you're alive today

Mysterious Writer

I said when you read this ryme your head spins you can't comprehend time     *     well right now, your time is mine, I got you wrapped in my words   *   using all kinds of adjectives, nouns and I might toss in some verbs  *    You still are wondering who this could be, words unfaced, name unplaced  *    I'm in your morning pages, you write about me, good or bad , could matter to me  *  I'm a person , just like you, you want to know me     *    but I could already know you  *   I could hear your name around , you could hear mine , but is it the truth or is it filled with lies?   *    You want to know who has been writing these rymes   *   Do they get better in time?   *   don't look around, don't try to figure it out   *   who could I be?   *    not so sure I want the attention on me   *  Brad reads all proud    *   kudos to you man , talking all loud , McKayla up in the front, writing to Jacob, so adorable and sweet    *   I don't even know you but your poems make me think   *    so time keeps going, feelings fade away   *   I will let you know my name someday   *  I'm not who you expect, it might blow your mind   * but I will let you know, over time   *  I guess I should write a peom called come clean    *   And in it i will tell you this name of mine  *   Until then I'm just another mystery in your mind

Don't Forget

I reminisce and I cry  /  I think about the days that I miss   / I'm lost in this abyss / I look around  / people brag about cannabis  /  I'm lost / Sometimes I feel like I live in monotony  / But what has that gotten me  / Yeah I joke around nonchalantly / Never meant to make a tear fall from your eye  / I can't believe it  / so surreal  / what happened? Its a big deal  / You say modalism  /  gnoticism  / I just recap, relapse and reminisce about the times  / thoughts embedded in my cranium  / forced to replay in my mind / inner twinned together like a roll of $5dimes  / I'm lost in time , body , mind and spirit / I know you close your ears / you don't want to hear it / But imma' tear up these lyrics / To you I'm subliminal / To me I'm irreplaceable / You try to bring me down  / But I hold my head high  / I know its hard but it'll be all right / you forget about the past / the past is the past  / now is the present / 5 minutes from now is the future / do you comprehend it?  /  I know you may not understand it  / Because you're not very intelligent / You're more focuse on appearance and being elegant / you bring your report card home / the school calls you answer the phone / you impersonate your mom so you won't get caught / she has a cell phone / op / you forgot / you weren't thinking / wittiness doesn't run through your veins / relapse on the past / what have we learned ?  /Name your accomplishments in calls its your turn / Throat is parched / Standing infront of the class / back is arched / you're ashamed / you don't have one thing you can name / so lame / you're subliminal to everybody / thought you were running the game  / supperiorority on your mind / you stand there and say I'll spit a rhyme / you have on your baggy clothes / rapping to a class full of foes / you think you're good and you suck / everybody knows / embarrassment overscomes your face / to everything is a race / I'm lost but you don't care / this is what makes me give up / hands in the air / weakness consumes my body / i don't have the will to say this won't stop me / you make look down on me and that's fine / you put a poem up let me criticize your rhyme / but you won't because you can't rap / do we need to freshen up and recap / relapse / on the past / I'm BABY J / don't forget that

The Move

I know there's been some times that I've been kind of sad - I've been kind of mad - There's times in my life where I should have straightened up because I was kind of bad - I know I missed my opportunity because I was confused - see I didn't know what to do when I was told I had to move - I was sixteen and in my opinion I had everything to lose - I just wanted to make like an alarm clock and put myself on snooze - but then everything got worse - everything was getting hard and every night for a week I cried - I tried to talk them in to staying it didn't work but I tried - I had to go to Kentucky and move from Tennessee - I didn't want to leave everybody that knew the true me - But I had to do it because it made my parents happy - It was a struggle - It was hard there were so many nights where I thought everything was falling apart - I didn't know where to start - I guess with my broken heart - I guess they didn't understand - It wasn't in the future wasn't suppose to be in the plan - Mama decided to go back to her first man - daddy gladly accepted - then we had to move - Mama was a good girl daddy was bad always on the news - I guess it was his life - he was the one to choose - I guess he's always been a bad boy - looks like he's starting to settle down - Now I'm still not to happy about this now - I don't know what would have happened if I would have stayed - but I would have liked to have seen the future both ways - I guess it just wasn't in my horoscope it just wasn't my month wasn't my day - so I guess no matter what happens keep your head up  - don't pout - you can do anything you want as long as you have no doubt

+RECOVERY+

I guess I should really think about this +RECOVERY+ is this me ? / or is this all just really above me? / sometimes I get so mad I can't control the anger inside me I feel like a monster in +RECOVERY+ / I try to hide my attitude but now I realize I'm really just smuthering me / My anger is the real me / On the surface I say help me / But I really want people to let me be / You don't know how I really am and I know you say you do / well congradulations to you / tell me all that I do / I bet you know more than me / Tell me about +RECOVERY+ / Go ahead tell me about my plan /I don't know / Oh, I thought you were a big fan / I will tell you and give you a detailed description / I'm tired of remaining calm and giving myself a personal perscription / I have so many things that I'm missin' / so go ahead let the haters hate let them all start dissin' / Because I'm looking at all that I've writen / chilling out reminiscin' / All of sudden a plan pops in my mind / +RECOVERY+ I have to make time / You see I can't let all that you did to me left unpunished / I have to do something to you / I think about grabbing your throat and making you turn blue / See I don't care about your family and I don't care about your friends / I'm not here to try and make ammends / I'm here for me this is what I like to call a +RECOVERY+ / You thought you were so much better than me  / I'm white and you're white / This is my +RECOVERY+ of a discovery / See I dug deep down to find these emotions / And you there you sit trying to tear me open / I stand firm and I stand for what I believe is right / At this house there's going to be a +RECOVERY+ tonight / I know you think you are this and that but trust me you won't last / Everybody around me thinks that I have something to hide / simply because I don't follow every rule and sometimes I disobey and don't obide / so now there's a monster inside me and some say I'm evil / I'm not I get on my knees and I pray for people / Some people don't understand my venedictive ways / and that really is okay / Because I'm making a +RECOVERY+

My Life

Everybody is always turning around   /   its like they don't understand me   /  so its best just to let me down   /   its like they play with my emotions   /   my head spins round and round    /    the edges of my lips touch the ground    /   but no I'm not upset   /   I did my best  /  I guess it wasn't enough   /  I give up I just give it a rest   /    its like i'm heartless   /   i have no beat in my chest    /    i go back home to my nest  /   i know I'm  not perfect    /     maybe I should ease the pain and confess   /   no   /   I can't do that people would think that I'm weak    /      so at night I just lay it all out   / it doesn't matter anyway I have nothing to live for now   /    everybody that I loved is gone  /  or somehow did me wrong   /    I listen to EMIN3M and T.I. they sing my favorite songs   /   I pop in my EMIN3M cd when I get home     /   I put in "curtain call " seek to number 4    / then just for my privacy I lock the door    /   in my mind my fans are screaming for an encore   / so I put T.I.  "no mercy"  in  / they want some more   / i get excited  / then bang bang bang  / knocking on my door   / i guess my moment is over   /  i had my ten minutes in the light   /  i never knew as  a kid it would follow me my whole life    /  be a rollingstone or live the college life?   /   i want to do both its just so hard to decide   / take a record deal   /  or listen to my parents   /   be a good kid  / and obide   / this is such a difficult life   /   i have a lot of things brainstorming  in my cranium   / and or my mind   / i guess its just my life   / maybe one day i'll have 4 kids and to somebody i'll be a wife   /  i wouldn't trade it for anything  /  because i only have 1  / and its mine   /   this is my LIFE

Weight On My Shoulders

Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying a  boulder / Everybody looking at me / Weight is on my shoulder / Its finally lifting / The days pass / I'm getting older / Time flies no longer in the 1800's / Just passed 2009 / Ladies are no longer ladies / Got kids poppin' out babies / Focusing on being bolder / And colder / Chicks always have an attitude / no matter what always on the defense /smoking cigs / doing drugs / having sex / KNOCKED UP! / Then you're pregnant and you still run your mouth / Give me a hanger / I'll cut that sh*t out / then me and you can throw down/ You aren't laughing now / There's a crowd / wow / Sit your pregnant a** down / Miss I'm so ghetto I'm so cool / Say Baby J YOU RULE / Baby J you rule / So people put up a front / Just to come to school / then they get mad when people say they're fake / and they act like a fool / Because they do / One day they'll tangle with the wrong person / and they won't walk away from that fight / Lights out / Night - Night / Always talking about I fought her/ And her / I can take her / Don't point at me you can take me to lunch / You can't beat me up / Don't roll your eyes / I refuse to lose and I refuse to change / So guess what? / You're going to have to / Because I'm insane / You aren't sh*t / Look at you! / You talk when the teacher is trying to talk / Then you ask questions because you weren't listening / Dumb as a rock / You say I'm pretty NO! / You aren't you're a ho / so stop! / I got a new hair cut / yeah when I saw it I laughed / Now your head looks like a monkey's a** / I could be meaner but it isn't "S.A." / I could say "J.A." ,"D.A.", " F.U.", "S.A." / But I didn't, OKAY?! / Man this boulder got lighter/ My burdens are somewhat lifted/ Man I want to just get this all out / So go ahead say something now / I keep praying and praying for it to be lifted / Grant my wish Lord, one day / All you who have doubted me are losers anyway / I don't pay any attention to the things you say / My weight I carry everyday / on my shoulders / I think my blades are messed up / grinding against my back / I'm glad my ribs protect my heart / because everything is just starting to fall apart / But I stand strong and the weight is on my shoulders