uncle

Let me be straight I put up a barrier I lock my gate

I guess that's how I am it's just fate

I can't change a habit it's to late

I know that I carry my pain in my heart

Lets take a look where should I start

I have all of this pain built up inside

Nobody will listen to be they think I have a good life

For the most part I guess I do

Except for those people who want to do what they do

I guess I talk to my uncle about a lot of my problems

Who else can I talk to? Nobody you're right

I know lately me and him aren't that tight

But if I needed him he'd be here tonight

I told him some heavy things and I guess its weighin on his mind

Sometimes I wish I could just keep everybody away

I mislead everybody with every word I say

I don't do it on  purpose well sometimes I do

I do it intentionally just to confuse you

I told him some thing that is pretty serious

He got upset, he's probably furious

I don't hear from him a lot

I hope he didn't do something bad

If I hurt him I never ment to make him sad

I guess the secret I should have kept

I can take it alone I would've wept

But I could have gotten through it

I think I can, Imma do it

But I just know that every secret comes out

I hope it comes out pretty soon, what about now?

I need some help explaining it and getting it out

Its not as easy as it looks the challenge is more difficult now

There's only one person that I can really go to

Sometimes I don't know why I even do

I tell him something than I don't hear from him for a long time

I don't know what he's doing, processing it in his mind?

I don't know but he knows that I need 'em

He keeps on and on and I lost touch in 'em

I lost trust in 'em

So here I sit his number isn't in my phone

Maybe my difficult times I should face alone

It's not like I can talk to anybody at home

I have a sister who likes to run her damn mouth

My dad will go to jail and my mom doesn't need to know

So where does that leave me at now?

Nowhere is exactly right

Go ahead ask me how many days of the week I cry at night

I don't know I've lost count

The numbers keep climbing starting to mount

I need him here and I kinda need 'em now

But right now he's nowhere to be found, wow

My uncle the one who was always suppose to be there

The one who said he loved me and cared

Where are you?

I guess something is more important to you

But you made a promise to me and broke it in half

No wonder there's no hope of our relationship gettin' back on track

You ruined it and stuck it in the ground

Tried to work it out and you're laugin in the crowd

Takin' snap shots in your mind

You can't even tell when I'm not fine

What would you do if I decided to cry

Would you get pissed and me and call me names

Because right now I think I'm going insane

I'm mentally deranged

Every word that I say you can feel the pain

And you know exactly why

I explained it to you the other night

So how come I haven't heard from you

I guess its because it has nothing to do with you

Sure you feel bad but it isn't you so you're glad

So keep living in your perfect ass world

I can't be apart of your life anymore

I am leaving I'm slamming the door

I want you to know that I left

You and me need to talk leme get this off my chest

I need to sleep and eat just get some rest

I try to express myself I do my best

I need you to be there for me give me support

But you aren't there you keep coming up short

Why is that it happens all the time

Maybe its me and its backwards in my mind

No, no it isn't me I know what I see is reality

I need you you're my uncle step up to the plate

Grab my hand , hug me its never to late

Because I need you now

show me some love

These people keep getting me mad
I try and take the easy way but I can't help but to be bad
I know , I know it's so sad
Calm down sit back down wipe that smile off take a bow
Keep running your mouth stop clapping for me
I'm tired of hearing what youo are and who you can be
I don't care I'm me can't cha' see?
I just don't get you keep talking
I'm done just start walking
I'm tired of being mocked
I just can't take the pain anymore
I'm leaving I won't go peacefully I'm slamming the door
I don't give a damn anymore
Everybody who looked down on me I'm leaving behind
I said I'd come back but not this time
So have you ever thought about me you in your mind
I think I'm going crazy I have to be insane
There's no way anybody could be in this kind of pain
But I am and I don't know what to say
No help is coming my way
And that's okay
I didn't expect anybody to be there for me
Even though it'd be nice sometimes I just need to be-
Alone but there's nobody that I can talk to
I'm having blank conversations with my phone
I hate when I come home
There's this and that and I have to deal with it all
It's crazy this is off the wall
Things just keep going around
Circulating rumors smacked down
I'm tired of defending myself
I shouldn't have to
What I do shouldn't matter to anybody else
Some how it does
You say why I say just because
Now that I have a future ahead you want to show some love
I'm tired of this shit you never gave enough
When you die you ain't goin' up
So forget that give yourself a hug
I told you I was done and that I'm giving up
But here you stand tryna' shake hands
Get out of my face I'ma grown wo-man
I gotta' get out of this place out of this spot
This can't fail me now
You say it will I betcha' not!
So c'mon open your arms reach out for me
Oh so now I'm not the person you want me to be
You push me away and say everything is okay
For the sake of my dad you just turn away
I don't understand shake my hand
Can we talk sometime and get this out
You don't want to
What is that about?
Show me some love

Never

There's something that I just gotta say
I sometimes get upset when I don't get my way
But I learn to hold it in
I learn to bottle it up
I'm use to people trying to be down
Every time I get a smile somebody wants to make me frown
But I'm tired of this shit I'm turning it around
I gotta get this plan down
I can no longer take the gate
I just have to get up off the ground I won't be ate
I can take the pain its never to late
I don't want to just sit here and wait on my ass
For this shit to pass
I won't wait for it to pass me over and jusst walk away
I will stand here and take the pain
I guess I really have nothing to gain
So why am I heare I guess I can just go
It doesn't need to be this tough though
Its a tough road
I just can't stand the thought of walking it alone
But this much I have to say
I need to get my thoughts out of my brain
I can't sit here and hold back and restrain
I never thought I'd be in the situation playing this game
I just want to have a little piece of fame
So you guys can see I'm somebody because people know my name
I don't get why some people just want to sit and cry
That makes it less emotional when they die
Because they didn't try
So they didn't fail to no provail
I have been so close and so far away
It gets harder each and everyday
My goals are never to far away
That's all I have to say
So I want to let you know what I say goes
It can be a long road
Whoever you travel with determines if its cold
I want to grow old
I have to get my opinion out some say I'm bold
Yeah I know I'm a bitch that's what I've been told
But I'm not like you I don't turn my hand it and fold

Why?

I was calm but now I'm bad you stupid black bitch you aren't bad
So shut up and just walk away because I'm not like you , I don't play
You running your fucking mouth is going to end today
So go ahead you think you can fight, swing away
I'm tired of you and your fucking friend
I didn't like you at the begin, and I don't like you now, its the end
We have a day left in this trimester and you want to start shit
You don't even know me but you can suck on my C~
You think you're so damn bad running your mouth?!
Get off of your moms t.t nobody will protect you now
you think people are scared of you because you have a loud mouth
Shut up!! And just go away , I told you once I don't play
You think that you will jump me , HA, I'll laugh in your face
So you said you were so bad, but you're two faced
I am so done with your stupid comments and side remarks
You think I don't know you talk about me , NARK!
Damn you aren't even pretty, you look like a dogs ass
I'm telling you right now this is a warning
When I'm determined to cause fear and panic I do it!
I'm not a coward who gets ready and says just screw it!
You don't know me and I don't really care to know you
But now I'm pissed and nobody wants to be in your shoes
Bottomline, you're screwed what cha' gonna do?
So why did you have to run your mouth?
Thought you were bad gettin' all loud
Now you're laying down, not making a sound
Answer this WHY? did you have to talk behind my back
You know you did, I know it, so it's a fact
WHY?